Getting ready

All my sewing equipment and projects that went on vacation with us are now in the house and ready for me to get to work. I had obligations for this evening that just got cancelled so I will be setting up a sewing area in the living room and working on the completion of the Navajo blocks. I have 8 left to complete and then the next step in this quilt top.

There is a new quilt guild that a LQS is starting. I have investigated it and am thinking about attending the initial meeting. Since it will be very close to my home it may be another way of extending my quilting.

DH is doing much better so I will be able to be more outgoing in my small group and guild attendance.

Have a great day.

Home Safe and Sound

We have returned from a very relaxing and restful week in Gatlinburg, TN. The sewing machine and my projects are the only remaining things in the car. I ran out of energy with the unloading. Thankfully the next vacation in April will be with a healthier husband and he can help with the unloading. He kept apologizing for not doing more, but he drove both ways and that was the saving grace.

I didn't get as much piecing done as I had expected. Creating 240 HST take a lot of time; with sewing and squaring up. I have almost 3/4 of my blocks completed for "Navajo Tears" and then I will lay out the blocks on the point with other fabric between. I have two options with the other fabric. Simple 8 1/2" squares or making QST and placing them in between the Navajo block. I will have to get my design wall out to make the decision.

This week is only 2 1/2 days of work. The rest will be some minor house cleaning after our vacation and getting ready for the holidays. Vacations are very nice, but there is always the let down and the recovery. Fortunately I love Thanksgiving and Christmas so this gives me a slow let down from vacation. I did some shopping in Sevierville for Christmas and only have a few items to purchase. Then the wrapping.

Have a great day.

Final day of vacation

Today is our final day in Gatlinburg. We are well rested and relaxed and ready to get back into the fray.

We will be packing all our belongings today after I do laundry and put everything but our morning needs into the car today. Then we will be on the road home.

Only one stop on the way home. JoAnn's has a super store in Knoxville and I plan on spending a little time there. I picked up two patterns from Holloway House yesterday and they call for fat quarters. I have to look at the ad from JoAnn's to see if there is anything I would die for.

Have a great day.

Gatlinburg, TN

We have been here since Saturday and have 1 1/2 days of vacation left. I have finished the hst for "Navajo Tears" and am putting together the last 14 blocks. Then I will need a surface to lay out the blocks and decide the order I wish to put them together in.

The quilt for MIL is still in the bag. We have been having so much fun here that very little sewing has gotten done. But that is okay. This is a time for us to reconnect and heal after two very hard years.

Have a great day.

Response to critics of "Sour Apples"

I received responses from two individuals on my blogs. One was a member of my guild and the other anonymous. I am not surprised by either. The one who is a member of my guild cannot imagine that the members of the guild could possibly have treated me that way. I never said all members of the guild. Check "Sour Apples" and you will see that only a few members treated me with such disdain. The others have treated me with respect and understanding. To anonymous I can only say that you are probably one of those who treated me so badly and now you are trying to make me out the bad guy (in spite of claiming not to be a member of my guild).

I have been able to move on. But these members (not all members) of my guild obviously have not been able to deal with the guilt and self horror they have after what they have done. I can only pray that they will move on with their lives and leave me alone. I haven't found any need to comment on their blogs and I hope that they stay out of mine.

This is my blog and I only recently reopened the ability of others to leave comments. The first two are negative. Be nice. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Pain can be felt many ways and the response is not predictable and is often beyond control. Either you get it or you don't.

Have a great day.

Sour Apples

Right now all my former friends from Guild are enjoying their selves at a retreat at Blue Licks Battlefield and State Park. They are eating and drinking and sewing and sharing quilt tips and talking and having a wonderful weekend. I do envy them. I love retreats.

I have no hopes that these former friends will ever become my friends again. In fact I don't want their friendship. However, I cannot imagine cutting myself off from the guild and future quilt retreats. I am not sure what I will be doing about it, but a solution will be found that makes me content in myself. If they are uncomfortable about my solution that will be something they will have to deal with.

These former friends never understood what I was going through. They just saw my sorrow and anger at circumstances and could no long deal with it. Again, that is their problem. That my DH almost died on October 10 is something they know nothing about and I don't really think they would care.

I have lost one husband to an auto accident, divorced a second because he shut me out of his life and almost lost a third one to kidney failure, sepsis, staph infection and pneumonia. For three days we kept DH alive on a ventilator while trying to heal the infection, restart the kidneys without dialysis and clear his lungs from the pneumonia. That we have had four weeks of hospitalization to deal with; that DH has lost 30 pounds during his illness; that he is using a walker or wheelchair because he has no endurance; that I have been beside myself with worry; in all of these things they were not there for me.

They pledged their friendship and help and then withdrew it because they could not deal with me. I regret that they were unable to help me. I would have loved the support of friends. However, I am moving forward and getting my life in order. My DH still has dementia. He will continue to slide downhill into a memory loss. There will be times that I will want to strike out at anything to deal with the anger of my husband loosing his memory. I will find other friends who will comfort me. I will find other quilt buddies to interact with. I will go on with my life and be a happy and content person.

I can only feel sorry for these women and hope that they never have to deal with what I have been going through and what I have ahead. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I have been at the brink of death and seen my husband pull back into a life that we never thought we would enjoy again.

Whether these women read my blog or not, I felt that I finally had to express my sadness at their reaction to my deepest pain. They were not there for me and I can never forget what they did to me. They are forgiven and written out of my life.

I am sorry for the sour apples...but I needed to get this written so that I can go on with my life. The pain inflicted has continued to eat at my heart and I don't want that pain any more. I don't want them to apologize. I just want them to stay away from me and leave me alone.

In spite of the content of my blog today, please have a happy and safe day. May God watch over you and keep you in his love.

Now are the days that all quilter's fear

Tonight I have to make my final decision on what to take on vacation. We are very limited as to space yet I want to take a weeks worth of sewing with me. What a delemia. I know I will take the fabric and patterns for the quilt top I am making for my MIL. I know I will take the fabric and pattern for the quilt top I am making for DH. I can see the possibility of one other project. No batting. No backing. Just the tops, the notions I need for the specific projects and my sewing machine and it's table.

We are planning some shop wandering while we are in Gatlinburg. DH wants to get a new Buck Knife. I want to visit two quilt shops. Other than that, if the weather is good and there is a trail that is handicap friendly I want to go into the Smokey Mountains National Park for a walk. I love the park. I have visited two of the waterfalls in the past. I realize that seeing another at this time is not possible. Neither of us can walk that far and I cannot push a wheelchair over the paths that go back that far into the park. I will settle for the peace and quiet and the sounds of nature. When I visualize a peaceful scene it is always this park or the property my parents used to own in northern Michigan. I love the sound of the wind through the tree branches and the sounds of birds and squirrels. Let's leave the porcupines and skunks out of it. They are too dangerous for my taste.

Have a great day and praise the Lord for all good things.

DH is home and I am quilting

Friday DH came home. We had a quite evening together and went to bed early. Saturday was the day we visited MIL. She is definitely using two cane at all times. We are waiting for her doctor to mail a release form so she can request a transfer of records to the nursing home I think she will really do this now.

Last evening I started working on the Sew to Win Blocks for Guild. Somehow my machine has readjusted it's self. My 1/4 inch seam was about three threads too wide on the first four seams and a 6 1/2 inch block ended up 6 1/8. I need to rip those seams out and start over. No big problem as they were the first four seams of the center of the wreath block.

Tonight I have several things on my to do list and those four seams are on it. I also have to start packing for Gatlinburg.

Did you know there is a big quilt show and retreat in Gatlinburg every March? I have been looking into it and cannot wait to see what classes are offered in 2009. Maybe DH and I can have another week in Gatlinburg before we head to Orlando with the family.

Have a great day.

Coming Home

DH will be coming home tomorrow morning. I will pick him up at the rehab center at 8:00 A.M. and have him home before 9:00. Once his he settled in and comfortable about being home with only Max & Roxie to keep him company I will be going into work for the remainder of the day.

I already have supper planned for tomorrow. Pork roast, potatoes, carrots and corn. Since the weather is supposed to be cooling I will be making home made dinner rolls as well. This will be a celebration dinner to pass all others.

This weekend we need to visit MIL and get her on the path to a nursing home. DH has been very worried about her the last four weeks and so have I. There is a nice nursing home within one mile of our house and we can visit daily or more often if needed. She has been fighting this for years, but now is the time to do it before she has another bad fall. Then I will have both of my patients to care for and watch over. With the help of the nursing center staff I am sure that MIL will be fine as long as we visit regularly and at different times during the day.

Tomorrow evening after supper I am getting out the fabric for MIL Christmas present quilt. I have a lot of fabric cutting and piecing ahead of me. If I can get all the pieces cut out before we leave for Gatlinburg then all I will have is the piecing to do while on vacation. Navajo Tears needs additional piecing but DH has become so observant that I don't think I can work on it when he is present. This presents a bit of a dilemma. This will take some thinking about. Maybe I can get DH to promise to look the other way so I can work on it. LOL It's worth a try, don't you think?

So many UFO's and so little time between now and Christmas. I have my work cut out for me. Fortunately I have a 4 1/2 day weekend the week of Thanksgiving. I hope to get DD quilt under the sewing machine for the next phase of quilting. I am fairly sure that Navajo Tears and MIL quilt will have to be tied rather than standard quilting. The time frame is too tight otherwise.

If you cannot tell I am in a better mood than I have been in a very long time. DH is showing signs that almost indicate that the dementia was mis-diagnosed. Only time will tell on that. The neurologist said not to come back for 3 months. We will see what happens in the meantime.

Have responsibilities to get back to. Have a great day.

Off Topic

Well, yesterday was a very busy day and I did not get any quilting in. However, DH had two doctor's appointments and we voted and had supper at Bob Evans. It was a nice road trip and we had a great time being together outside of the rehab center.

Nothing else to say, but have a great day.

Guild Meeting

I turned in my Sew to Win block and picked up a new Kid's Komfort kit at Guild meeting last evening. It was good to see my friends from Guild. I am the website support person and our president announced my request to be provided with updates for inclusion. Some of our members are hesitant about updating their areas in the website and I want to give them the opportunity to include their information without needing to update the website directly.

There were 25 blocks finished in the Sew to Win category. Unfortunately I was not the winner, but I am still going to continue to contribute to the Sew to Win process. I am sure that the winner was just as excited when she found out as the winner last month. I picked up two blocks this month. Each is a wreath with a Christmas color set. They look like they will be fun to make. I certainly have enough green and red fabric that I can make my own quilt top if I do not win at the December meeting.

After the major cleanup and rearrange at our house Saturday, I have reclaimed my corner in the living room for quilting and logically stored quilting tools so I can start quilting again once DH is home. Today is his big road trip and after I drop him off at the rehab center I hope to have some R&R time at home. I have some things to put away from grocery shopping and a load of laundry to fold and put away. Then maybe I can continue working on "Navajo Tears". There is some pressing to be done and I have about 50% of the blocks sewn. I would like to get most of the blocks finished before DH returns home. Then I can put the blocks together and finish the top when he goes to bed before I do. Otherwise his Christmas present won't be a surprise.

Have a great day.

Sew to Win Block

I finished the Sew to Win Block for Guild last night. It turned out really pretty. I hope I win this month, but have learned some new techniques that will be valuable in the future.

DH has been in the hospital now since October 10th. This has been the longest month in my life. He almost died in the first 24 hours and was on a ventilator to help him breath from 10:00 am on the 10th through 10:30 am on the 14th. He was in Intensive Care from the 10th through the 13th and in Telemetry from the 14th through the 17th. He transferred to a rehab facility on the 17th and I had him pulled out of there and transferred to Drake Center on the 23rd because of the poor care he was getting. Drake has him truly on the road to recovery! For a while there I thought I was going to be a widow before my 14th wedding anniversary. Now James is more lucid that he has been in months and is aware of thing around him that he missed totally. There has been some definite memory loss during the time just prior to his illness, but his dementia symptoms have reverted to those when he was first diagnosed. He has made progress that I think will impress the doctors to the point he will be allowed to drive. I am already acknowledging that I will be a passenger in a car he is driving. What a change!

DD and SIL spent Saturday helping me prepare the upper level of our bi-level home for DH to return to. Whether he is in a wheel chair or a walker he will be able to move from room to room with no difficulty. We moved furniture to make additional space between traffic areas so the house is more invalid friendly. God bless my daughter and son-in-law! They were so much help! I still have some minor cleaning to do between now and when DH returns home. It will be a breeze after all the assistance provided by the "kids".

I am looking forward to Guild this evening. Terry Tope will be our guest speaker. Her speciality is reverse applique and I cannot wait to hear her speak. She taught a class this weekend that I was not able to attend, but I am sure some examples of students that took the class will be shown during the meeting.

The Sew to Win block for the next meeting is a mystery. I cannot wait to see what they have planned for us. The President's block for our former president should be announced shortly. I definitely want to contribute to that. Also, they should be announcing shorting what quilt teachers will be visiting and teaching for Guild in 2009. I would like to that one or two classes if possible.

I need to get back to my responsibilities. Have a nice day.